Well if you want a quiet, restful start to the day do not drop a plastic overnight bag containing over a litre of urine onto a tile floor.
At this point I will warn you that there are scenes/language you might find to be of an indelicate nature not usually found on this blog.
I woke at 0630 after a good night’s sleep and decided to get up.
I then decided to go into the bathroom to empty the overnight bag (I often do it in the carpeted ‘en-suite’).
I arrived in the bathroom and dropped the bag.
On with the latex gloves, out with the floor cloths, bleach, floor cleaner and finally Zoflora (thank you Marcel) and I had a clean, sterile and sweet-smelling bathroom again.
Glad Game:
1. As it weighed over a kilo I was just happy that the length of the plastic pipe between my willy and the top of the bag was greater than the distance between my willy and the floor!
2. I dropped it in the one tiled room in the house.
Two very excellent reasons to be grateful!!
ReplyDeleteVery excellent is probably grammatically incorrect but it's appropriate here
I'll go with very excellent in the circumstances, Kylie.
DeleteThe bags are a nuisance but are better than the alternative. Yes, I'm sure there would be some " very excellent " vocabulary used for the occasion!
ReplyDeleteRed I was actually so stunned and reacted so quickly I don't think I even uttered a sound. In hindsight I'm quite surprised I didn't utter some "very excellent" expletives.
DeleteI think you will have to ask the medics for a bigger urine bag - perhaps the size of a space hopper. Come to think of it, you will then be able to bounce to the bathroom shouting "Yee-hah!" like a rodeo cowboy.
ReplyDeleteThe mind boggles, YP.
DeleteYes indeed, the tiled floor would have been a blessing. And another blessing is that you obviously had non slip tiles!
ReplyDeleteOh dear Jenny that would have been the last straw!
DeleteHow odd - I know I commented this morning before leaving home, but my comment has not come through, it seems.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Glad Game point #1 made me utter "ouch!" as I imsgined the outcome with a shorter pipe.
I think "ouch!" might have been rather tame, Meike.
DeleteConsidering the circumstances, I think you manage to sound very contained! (pun intended) (And Pollyanna would be proud of you!) ♥
ReplyDeleteThat made me smile Monica!
DeleteI had a friend with a bag and she had similar issues at times - mainly due to the bag leaking during the night, particularly when the cats chewed the tubing, Through the bed and on carpet.... humour certainly helps and I’m glad all was well. And yes, ouch! I managed to spill a urine sample all over a doctors toilet floor once.... a highly embarrassing event, made worse by having to wait there until I could produce another one.
ReplyDeleteFi I'm so sorry but your descriptions have actually made me laugh.
DeleteI'm an expert. I was catheterised thrice. Bloody nurses were trying to castrate me whilst reading Mills and Boon. It saved the idle fat sods stirring themselves for the piss bell. I learnt my lesson and paid for private care for my privates. I'm sixty seven and would not go anywhere near the vicious buggers. Rather die than let the buggers near me. I'm dying age after all is said and done.
ReplyDeleteWell Adrian I don't know where you were but I have to say that the nurses I've encountered ranked as saints in my eyes.
DeleteI shouldn't laugh, but I did. I'm sure you dopn't mind. :)
ReplyDeletePerhaps because I know what a wordsmith I become when I drop something, or make a mess of something...or what I'm trying to do just won't do what it's supposed to do! I have more words than the Oxford dictionary...and far more descriptive! I don't hold back! lol
Of course you should laugh, Lee.
DeleteGraham, my sister is well acquainted with overnight bag accidents. She's done just about everything with hers. But I send lots of sympathy, because as with all liquids, I know that a little goes an awfully long way.
ReplyDeleteFrances, I am fortunate in keeping lots of old towels for 'fluid' emergencies (although this was definitely not one I had anticipated) and once soaked and wrung out they simply all went into a very hot wash cycle.
DeleteOh dear Graham, poor you, as a retired Nursing Home Matron, it brought back many memories of similar disasters. There used to be a Velcro type strap you could use to keep the catheter "tethered " to your leg. Maybe a more modern device is now available and might prevent a repeat performance. Keep smiling !
ReplyDeleteFortunately I no longer have a catheter Cath although when I did there was a very nifty device for securing it which stuck to one's leg with the same sort of adhesive used for stomas etc.
DeleteWell, Graham, you've given a new meaning to the phrase "pissed off"! Very humorous telling of what I am sure was *not* a fun experience. I am definitely glad for the existence of your tiles, and the length of your... emm... pipe. Wishing you the very merriest holiday season ever. You deserve it!
ReplyDeleteMrs S as you know I try to see the humour in everything: it is what keeps me sane. Thanks for the good wishes.
Delete