1 EAGLETON NOTES: Algorithms

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Wednesday 17 August 2022

Algorithms

The problem is that you can't have a discussion with an algorithm. You can't tell it that it doesn't fit your case. Well, that's not strictly true, however if it doesn't fit the algorithm then it will be ignored or spat back at you.

Amazon recently made a rare (in my experience) error. I ordered Bootledrops quantity 150 Price £12. They arrived 18 hours later. Correct product but quantity 50 (usual price £6.20). Presumably either someone had misread a bar code or something had been miscoded.

If this was a human interaction situation one would, for example,  go into the shop, explain that they had given me the correct product but the wrong package size. It would be swapped. One would leave satisfied.

Obviously in this case I would have to return them to Amazon and ask for the correct quantity. However having got as far as the return algorithm the only thing the algorithm would allow me to do in this particular case was 're-order the exact same product' (the assumption being presumably that it was damaged or faulty which didn't fit) or order another product. 

As it so happens in the 24 hours since the transaction only the 150 size was on sale on the Amazon site.

So I filled in the return form and received the appropriate QR code on the email response. 

This morning I went to the dentist. I had an X-Ray during which I had a chat with the dental practitioner who used to be a teenage best buddy of our late son, Andy. That was totally irrelevant but, wotthehellarchiewotthehell. I then went into the post office, gave the lady at the counter the package and showed the QR code.

I arrived home shortly afterwards and received an email saying [actually it wasn't saying anything but it was telling me something] that Amazon had received the item and refunded my Amazon account.  

They had.

Then I ordered the items I wanted direct from the company selling them. 

42 comments:

  1. Online ordering is popular in my house, so convenient, no driving involved, often good prices, but yes, it is weird trying to explain anything to the company when the algorithm refuses to cooperate. You had to spend/waste some time resolving your order because of their mistake.

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    1. Living on Lewis with not much choice outside the more essential items of living online or off-Island ordering has always been part of life. The fact that I can order something from Amazon late afternoon and often have it by the lunchtime post the next day means I use Amazon a lot. To be fair I've had very few problems with their service.

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  2. Sorry you were hassled.
    I've read article headlines saying some companies are telling customers to keep the mistake because return costs too much. Having been in retail at one time, I almost felt a duty to faint, but I savored the moment of disbelief instead.
    I rarely shop Amazno since the Prime membership increase.

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    1. Maywyn, I always look at the positive side. I got a blog post out of it. The one misgiving I have with returning the parcel was that I know Amazon will just destroy it because it's cheaper, as you said.

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  3. I've been in a similar situation and there was no box to tick that would correctly described the problem. In the end I said the reason for return was "performance or quality not adequate" which was not true but it got me a refund of the incorrect product, a label to send it back and then I reordered and got the correct one. It was a fib but other than spending ages trying to get through to them on the phone I couldn't think of another way. Glad you got there in the end, and hope all was well at the dentist :-)

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    1. Thanks, Jayne. Many places, including Amazon I think, do not have any phone service. No work needed at the dentist either I'm happy to say.

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    2. In case anyone reads this I have been advised by Jayne (thanks very much) that it is possible to get in touch with Amazon by phone if one persists. I just assumed it wouldn't be possible.

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  4. I gave up on Amazon a while ago because of intermittent problems that made me lose confidence in them. My account is now deleted and I have not been tempted to return. I have decided that anything I cannot buy here or from the UK, I can do without.

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    1. JayCee, most of the time I have to say that I get excellent service from Amazon and use them a lot.

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  5. I am a bit of a loss to cast an opinion one way or the other, Graham. The only items I buy on line are books, from a couple of sellers who have proven themselves very reliable. Once, I received the wrong title. I was immediately told to do with the book whatever I chose and they would immediately send the book I had originally ordered. I received it promptly. In the meantime I placed the incorrect volume into the local mini library for someone to take. My wife has a friend who buys just about everything on line, including shoes. I have no idea how that works. I can't imagine buying a pair of shoes without trying them on. Then again, perhaps I am just a Luddite. And I don't need an algorithm to tell me that!

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  6. I forgot to ask, what are Bootledrops?

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    1. David, I have to say that I wouldn't buy my proper shoes online although I have bought garden shoes and slippers on line. Oddly 40 or so years ago I used to but my suits on line. I had a wonderful suit made by a tailor in Liverpool but when I came to Lewis I discovered that in Hebden Bridge there was a wonderful tailoring business that would copy suits for you. You just chose a cloth and specified any alterations. Given the only alternative in those days was to go to the mainland (or buy off the peg from the very limited Island choice) I had suits made in Hebden Bridge. The business suit I wear for funerals now was made there about 40 years ago (I've not altered in size). I have never worn a suit otherwise since I retired. I wear my kilt for weddings.

      Ah. Bootledrops. Sorry about that. The pack actually contained blank cards and envelopes which I use for writing to people. Bootledrops just popped out of what passes for my mind at that moment.

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  7. I can sympathise with your dilemma, but, like Mr Gascoigne, I have no idea what Bootledrops are! I once ordered some Fray Bentos Steak-n-kidney pies from Amazon (don't ask); they came in 6 packs, and somehow I clicked on the 'buy now' three times. Yes, as you guessed I received 18 pies. I still have a couple left.

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    1. Oddly, Cro, I remember you some years ago blogging about Fray Bentos pies. I went out a bought one to remind me of my youth (Mum very occasionally bought them). I haven't bought one since! As for Bootledrops please see my answer to David above.

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  8. I rarely order anything online, maybe twice a year when I want a specific item for a Christmas or Birthday present for a family member. But then of course I live a 10 minute walk from the city centre with all its shops, not on an island like you.
    My Mum, who has become more and more house bound (first because of the pandemic and more recently because of my Dad), is a big online orderer and rarely does any other form of shopping anymore. She, too, could tell a few tales about algorithms.

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    1. Like most people, Meike, I'd rather go into a shop and chose what I want but that's becoming harder and harder even in the cities.

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  9. I've been lucky so far with my online purchases. But like others I'm more fascinated with what bottledrops could be. All I could come up with are those little bottles with droppers like eye drop bottles with syringe like dropper. But why would you need 150 of them. Are you brewing and dispensing magical remedies?

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    1. I'm so sorry, Pauline, the Bootledrops were just a brief figment of my imagination. See my comment to David above.

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  10. I'd say, if you ordered Bootledrops, no wonder the algorithms got confused! (lol) (writing this after reading all the comments as well...) I think the only things I've ordered from Amazon are my Kindle devices + lots (and lots and lots!) of e-books and audio books. Possibly also some TV-series on DVD from the UK, long ago.

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    1. Monica, oddly enough my Kindle device has just come to the end of its useful life. It was one of the original ones and still works fine but Amazon no longer supply books to it. I ordered a new one a while ago not realising that there was a 5 week lead time for the one I ordered. Not that it matters given the amount I read these days but a lot of my reference books etc are now on Kindle. I usually read them on the Kindle App.

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    2. Graham, I can still download books to my first Kindle (model called 'Touch') but I bought a new one last autumn (white screen, adjustable light). I sometimes use the Kindle app on my tablet as well - depends a bit on what kind of book and what device happens to be closest at hand.

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    3. Ah, yes, I said in my comment below that I don't order from AMazon any more, but actually I do order KIndle books sometimes. I honestly don't feel they can do much to mess that up.

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    4. And yes, I wondered about Bootledrops too... for some reason the word makes me think of "Beetlejuice" one of the first films directed by Tim Burton, if not the very first, and much better than most of the subsequent ones.... But actually, I don't know what Bottledrops are either. I'm getting really out of touch :)

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  11. I love Bottledrops...particularly the raspberry ones!

    I also purchase a lot online. I've just placed an order for Bottledrops....forget how many, though.

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    1. Lee, good luck with the Bottledrops!

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    2. :) If they've run out of the raspberry ones, I'll get the lime-flavoured one, Graham. ;)

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  12. If I receive a wrong item, I am usually told to just keep it and they send the correct one out. Too much trouble for them to take the wrong one back, I guess. I try not to order too much online and tend to shop locally but I can understand if you don't have that option.
    Glad you worked it out and ended up with what you wanted.

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    1. Thanks, Ellen. I'm sure that most of us would buy in store if we were able to. I find even in Glasgow trying to buy exactly what I want can be a challenge. The thing about on line is that almost everything is available. Often it's much cheaper too but that's a completely different matter.

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  13. Bootledrops!!! (I was fascinated, so I scrolled up through all the comments till I found your explanation to David.)
    I am a devoted user of Amazon. I haven't been into a "real" store/shop in over two years. The pandemic has shown me I need not subject myself to shopping in the accepted definition of the word. So, even with the increase in Prime membership, I remain a faithful Amazon shopper.
    PS...Graham, I still have my first Kindle, as I never throw anything away it seems, but I've added several newer editions along the way.

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    1. Thank you, Jill. I'm not good at throwing things away either but the Kindle probably can't be recycled like my old computers. I'll check though.

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  14. I had an Amazon problem recently when a disk drive I didn't realise was coming from Europe seemed to get as far as UK customs but no further. I managed to find the customer services online chat facility and they refunded immediately. I got one from Argos the next day.

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    1. Tasker, in the early days after Brexit I discovered that items coming from Amazon UK Sarl (which I think was their European hub) were getting stuck. I've noticed that they seem to keep much bigger stocks in the UK now and particularly for Scotland in their hub near Cumbernauld which is why if I order things up to 1800hrs I usually get them the next day.

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  15. I love the order things online as I work in retail and the last thing I want to do on my days off is talk to more people but buying things in person vs online does create a bit of a lack of correct communication, I can see how there are mix ups.

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    1. Amy, it's really a question of what suits each of us and what we feel we are prepared to put up with.

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  16. I hate dealing with Amazon. I've had very few problems with them, but when I do, they are the very devil to work out, mostly because speaking to a real person is almost impossible. I spent a lot of time looking up bootledrops!

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    1. Debby, I realise now that one can speak to a real person but so far I've always found a way around the few problems I've had. I hope you've seen the Bootledrop explanation. Many apologies!

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  17. I've mostly stopped ordering from AMazon because I think they're too big to care now. I used to sell on them sometimes too and the same applied there - small sellers were crushed. And they aggregate their reviews. EBay is pretty good for a lot of things, and direct from suppliers usually works too. Anyway glad you got them in the end!

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    1. Jenny, I still find Amazon very useful. I have occasionally, having found a direct supplier, used them but it's not always been a good experience and overall I'm sorry to say that I still use Amazon a lot.

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  18. It sure can get complicated.

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    1. Diane, there is little simple in life these days.

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  19. Glad your issue got sorted out Graham and thanks for the bottledrops explanation as I was also wondering about those, like David G. and others. Amazon ordering is helpful most times especially as not everything can be found shopping locally, which is actually our preference. A couple of weeks ago, I bought a non-stick skillet from the Amazon Warehouse (good deals there) and wanted to get a non-stick fish spatula. Off we went to every local retailer, yet none was to be found, metal ones yes, but no non-stick. Once again, it was found and purchased online.

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    1. Thank you, Beatrice. I've had two no-stick spatulas for non-stick skillets and neither could take the heat and the edges got very misshapen.

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