I disliked school. However I loved English language and literature and mathematics and, oddly, geography but I loathed history. As, even then, I had a very poor memory I was useless at languages and anything that involved using the gifts I was sadly lacking.
What I did have as a schoolboy was a reasonable ability with the English language. I never fought physically. I tried to argue my way out of trouble. Schoolboys don't respect that. They respect fists.
Bob Brague, in his post of 21 May mentioned 'The one act of violence in my life'. I too had one such moment.
In the Fifth Form during a maths class the teacher left the room. One of the school bullies (of no greater stature than I) was sitting behind me. He decided to start flicking my ears. I lost the plot. Turned round fully to face him. Picked him up by his blazer lapels and flattened his nose all over his face. Leastways the amount of blood seemed to indicate that was what had happened. There had been no resistance because my action was obviously completely unexpected.
After class I waited for a retaliation but it never came. Word had got out. His credentials as a school bully had been wiped out with one single, but well aimed, punch.
So far as I can recall that is the one and only such act of physical violence I have perpetrated. Well there was one more but that was entirely self defence and that's another story.
There were some lads who just couldn't seem to stop being violent to others. There is one I'd not thought of for a long time until in recent years a photograph of a public figure with a big head and ape-neck very much reminded me of him - Harvey Weinstein.
ReplyDeleteTasker, you're right in that the school bullies were well known and seemed to enjoy the power of being violent. It's something I have never understood but then power of any kind is not something I have ever sought. The odd thing about this chap was that he was very much average height and build. Just like I was/am.
DeleteGraham, you have surprised me. I would never have imagined you committing any act of violence. Still waters ....
ReplyDeleteJayCee, violence is abhorrent to me and I don't have a ready temper either but everyone has their limits. He found mine.
DeleteWhat you did is what bullies need. The knock out punch has to be severe enough that the bullie doesn't want anymore. The bullie is still a problem today.
ReplyDeleteRed, the world seems to be full of them these days as you say. I was probably saved on this occasion by the fact that he was completely caught off guard and definitely in no state to retaliate.
DeleteI was never bullied at school and I never bullied any other boys. However, your response to that oaf reminds me of at least three occasions when I asserted myself physically in similar ways. Those lads kept clear of me after I had whacked them. It's funny how the mind of a would-be bully works.
ReplyDeleteYP I suspect that you were of rather greater physical stature that I am. Having said that I wasn't bullied very much at school either but possibly because I could run very fast and had some physically robust very good friends.
DeleteYour reaction was entirely understandable and obviously did the trick.
ReplyDeleteI have never felt strong enough to engage in physical confrontations, but I was small and agile and could run real fast - very useful!
Meike, I, too, could sprint very fast (but lacked long distance ability).
DeleteDon't forget, Meike: Women don't use fists. They use words. Totally different ballgame.
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Ursula - nope. Women fight just as fisty as men - I have done so myself, and have seen some wicked tough women/women women/men street fights. Watch the news sometime.
DeletePS: On the professional side, check out women's MMA sometime. Joanna Jędrzejczyk. Amanda Nunes. Cris Justino. Just to name a few...
DeleteWomen don't use fists? Well, girls do, that's for sure! More than once during my school years I have witnessed physical fights between girls on the school's playground and elsewhere. And I grew up in a very normal, average neighbourhood, not a slum.
DeleteAnd words were what often got me into trouble - I could not keep my mouth shut!
Days gone by. Today, I fear, you'd be facing court as an adult if that happened in America or worse as retaliation appears to be on the increase in violent ways. The kid's parents would probably sue yours for all sorts of mental anguish, a possible rhinoplasty, and therapy for the rest of the lad's life. Sounds silly, but siller has happen here in the USA.
ReplyDeleteMaywyn, I was out for a walk with a friend this afternoon and we were talking about lack of parental discipline of their offspring. It could well be argued that, if they had been bringing their child up properly, he would not have been a bully. However parental responsibility seems to be a thing of the dim and distant past.
DeleteI didn't dislike school...until I became very eager to leave, get a job and earn my own keep, that is; then I couldn't wait to toss my school uniform and school bag aside.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite subjects were English, geography and history. I don't recall any bullies in my day. I, personally, never got bullied, nor did I bully. I would certainly have been severely reprimanded by Mum and Nana if I'd been a bully. They would have found out...word got around quickly back in those days...in a small town. :)
Lee, in a large city word would never have got back to my parents about any of the bullying or my misdeed.
DeleteI don't know why but I'm sure any punch you could be tempted to throw would be precise. It never dawned on me to like or dislike school, it was something that couldn't be avoided so no use giving it too much thought. I enjoyed English and, weirdly, Latin. I was never bullied nor did I bully anyone else but I was tormented for a whole year by one of the boys in my class who sat behind me. He would pull my plaits and when I turned my head to tell him off I was always caught out and told off by our teacher. He pushed his luck too far when he dipped a plait into the ink well and my white shirt was ink splattered. I figured out years later that he was trying to flirt with me. I probably wouldn't remember that incident if the image of my mother's face when she saw my shirt wasn't engraved in my memory.
ReplyDeletePauline, my punch was certainly targeted at his nose and appeared to have met it's target. In the split second that I took the decision I realised that it was the one place where I could disable him with little chance of immediate retaliation before the teacher returned. In case you are wondering what the teacher said the victim simply left the room and when he returned told the teacher he had had a nosebleed.
DeleteI was never a bully at school, nor was I ever bullied. I do remember my daughter, when she was about 7, being barged past on the steps up to a slide, by a big thug of a boy who was about 10/11; she very nearly fell off the steps. Once she had reached the bottom she marched over to the boy, who was laughing with his mates; punched him square on the nose, and told him "Don't ever do that again". He ran off to his mother, whilst we crept silently away from the school. I congratulated my daughter!
ReplyDeleteCro, if more people were like your daughter perhaps there would be fewer bullies.
DeleteThat story sounds a bit like one my husband told me - he was always quiet in class and was often picked on, until one day he "lost" it and flattened several of the bullies in one go. He was left alone after that!
ReplyDeleteMargaret, that's the way to do it. Boys 'respect' strength and being a peaceful sort of bloke was regarded as weakness.
DeleteI loved school; though not all my teachers. Some were bastards. Frau Dr Frei (French teacher) had it in for one of my best friends (he taught me chess, how to drive a car). We were seven/eighteen. She'd ridicule him mercilessly. My Maths teacher? Let's just say he is dead now. May he boil in his own unrelenting sarcasm. That man nearly axed me. Nothing do to with maths. He disliked me because he was attracted to me. Eventually it became an open secret in the whole school. Anyway, if he taught me one thing that if and when you are in a position of authority you can dish it out any way you like and with little consequence though the Head Mistress was aware of it.
ReplyDeleteYour particular story reminds me of the Angel. He was in his teens. There was one boy at his school who - after having cottoned onto the Angel's mother's nationality - saluted him with the Heil Hitler. Taunting him. Now the Angel is a very patient person. Always has been. Still is. Calm, cool, collected. He took on the chin. Still waters. Until one day, they were walking down some stairs, he turned round and landed one punch on said boy. Yes, nose bleed. But that put an end to it. The Angel's standing up to that bully who had it in for quite a few people earned him a lot of respect among his peers. Peace and quiet ensued once more.
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Ursula, the nose is a very disabling target. Good for your son.
DeleteYou have misquoted me but the gist was correct. And it was not in my post of 21 May (which is on another topic altogether) but in my post of 18 May (which you linked to correctly) that I mentioned the incident with Sidney Usleton in the second grade to which I believe you are referring. But you will look in vain for the words ‘the one act of violence in my life’. You must have been reading between the lines.
ReplyDeleteBob, I offer you my abject apologies for misquoting you. Such lack of checking is unforgivable. By way of explanation when I read the words which I quoted I wrote them verbatim in my notes (I assume because I used quotation marks) but failed to add a source "knowing" that I'd immediately remember where it came from. When I came to write the post I remembered your incident and my obviously muddled brain attributed one with the other. Obviously incorrectly. Now I have to try and find where I got the quote from.
DeleteYou have misquoted me but the gist was correct. And it was not in my post of 21 May (which is on another topic altogether) but in my post of 18 May (which you linked to correctly) that I mentioned the incident with Sidney Usleton in the second grade to which I believe you are referring. But you will look in vain for the words ‘the one act of violence in my life’. You must have been reading between the lines.
ReplyDeleteThis made me too remember one time, I think in 3rd grade, when I did slap the face of a boy bully in school. Alas, in my case I failed to hit hard enough for it to have any effect. When I hear people claim that "back in our day" there was no bullying or harassment etc, it always makes me wonder if they were deaf or blind, or bullies themselves...
ReplyDeleteMonica, there was certainly plenty of bullying around when I was a child. I used to have a rough time with a group of lads from another school when I was going to prep school. The problem was certainly less at grammar school but it was ever present.
DeleteI was bullied in school, but they never got what they were hoping for with me. When I was in fourth grade, a seventh grade boy was hitting me in the head with the largest text book he had, on the bus on the way home from school every day. I told the bus driver, who did nothing. I told my parents, and my dad told me to punch him in the eye. Next day, I did just that. Told my parents about it at dinner that night, and my dad dropped his fork on his plate. He didn't think I'd really do it. Never had a problem with that boy again. The rest of the bullying was mostly the taunting kind, which I just ignored and didn't respond to. Mostly I befriended other people who were being bullied, and stuck up for them. Sometimes just having one person on your side is enough.
ReplyDeleteGood for you Marcheline. I was fortunate in having enough friends at school for bullying not to be a problem on the whole. The wonderful postscript to this incident is that the lad later on in the term asked if I would help him with his maths for the General Certificate of Education. I did.
DeleteWhat an interesting post Graham, and the comments too. Sadly, bullying was a significant part of my childhood too. I wish I had had the presence of mind to deal with some of the incidents as you and Marcheline successfully did. But no matter, the past cannot be undone, merely learnt from.
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