As some of you will be aware I have been away for the last couple of weeks. I went down to England to attend the funeral of my younger brother known in Blogland as Scriptor Senex. but to me and many as CJ. Most of you will have read my post of 27 January about his death.
I was fortunate in that my son took his vehicle (which I'm not insured to drive) and drove the 1000 miles there and back. There was a day, not so many years ago, when I drove from Lewis to Tuscany via England, France, Germany, Switzerland and Northern Italy and enjoyed it. Now I will be very happy if I never have to drive in England again. It's full of people and cars! They all seem to me to be in a hurry and to have very little patience. With apologies to all my Englandshire readers who, of course, are not included in that generalisation.
As is the case with many of my generation, we and our friends from school and university etc are scattered not just through Britain but all over the world. So it was comforting to know that there were people watching the ceremony via a video link who might be anywhere in the world.
You can’t get to your 80th year without hearing quite a few eulogies. I’ve heard quite a few and I’ve written and delivered some as well. Nothing had ever been as difficult and as complex as trying to distill the vast amount of material that CJ, has provided in his 74 years.
From his writing (which included amongst many other things two novels and 'The Urban Countryman's Notebook), art in various media, collecting, voluntary work, Postcrossing, and his voracious appetite for reading CJ was a very extraordinary person.
A lot of CJ's life was very serious from his physical condition to his work and many of his interests. However, he did have a humorous side and a flippant side.
One example that comes to mind was the fact that Jo had told him that she would never marry a man who wore pink socks. At the wedding meal speech CJ concluded by removing the black socks he was wearing to reveal a pair of bright pink socks underneath.
To celebrate the various facets of CJ, Jo had him dressed for his final journey in his suit to show his serious side, a jazzy tie and purple multi coloured socks to show how way-out and off-beat he could be, and his walking boots to show his love of nature and the outdoors.
Goodbye, CJ.
Love the pink socks...and his colourful send off. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, GZ.
DeleteHe was obviously much loved by many people.
ReplyDeleteHe was indeed, JayCee.
DeleteIt is sad your brother is gone from the living. His life was full, and he made people happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you Maywyn.
DeleteI love to hear of funerals that celebrate the person and his life. It is a hard thing to accomplish in the case of a young person, I suppose but when a person lives a good and long life, there is so much material to work with, isn't there. Again, my condolences.
ReplyDeleteAlso, harking back to insurances: It seems odd to me that you could not drive the car. Here, as far as insurance goes, if a car is insured, as long as the driver is properly licensed, the car is covered.
Debby, thank you for the condolences and what you said made me wonder how CJ and Jo coped with the cot death of the first child, David. There was so little to remember. But they helped found the Alder Centre for the help with Cot Deaths in The Alder Hey Children's Hospital in Liverpool.
DeleteI loved that story at the end about his socks - it shows not only CJ's sense of humour but Jo's as well... :) You've been doing a great job both with the eulogies (here at your blog + for the funeral) and helping to inform friends about his death, Graham. ♥
ReplyDeleteThank you, Monica. You've been a good friend to both of us.
DeleteYour love for your brother shines through your post, Graham. I've just gone down the rabbit hole of your brother's posts and could spend the day doing that. I've already copied a quote he shared:
ReplyDelete" ...so this is what we said to those who asked us who we were and where we came from:
We are human beings first and last, our religion is our faith in humanity and there can be no religion greater than that. If we call ourselves Indians we will meet Pakistanis. If we go as Hindus we will meet Christians and Muslims. If we go as socialists we will meet capitalists. If we go as human beings we will meet human beings everywhere. Satish Kumar"
What a lovely thought for today's world!
Thanks, Ellen. CJ always said in a serious joke (if you can have such a thing) that the one thing he was intolerant of was intolerance.
DeleteCJ had a lot of experiences that showed his active life. Well said about your brother.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Red.
DeleteI must agree with you about driving in England, it's usually a nightmare. I go out twice a week, on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Tuesdays is gridlock with school pupils and students EVERYWHERE, on Saturdays it is very quiet and a pleasure to be driving almost unhindered. Both trips begin at 7.30 am and are over by 9.00 am. Maybe I should re-schedule my Tuesday trip.
ReplyDeleteCro, I used to enjoy driving anywhere. I can't make that claim any more.
DeleteI never ran across CJ in the blogging world which is a bit disappointing now. He sounds great.
ReplyDeleteKylie, I think you'd have enjoyed CJ's posts.
DeleteThe pink socks story does not surprise me - it suits the quirkiness and sense of humour I perceived from John's blog over the years. However, I didn't know he'd written novels and many other things. Now I am really intrigued and wonder whether I'll find his works available as ebooks.
ReplyDeleteGiving faraway friends and relatives the opportunity to attend a funeral service online has been a very good way of using streaming services, I believe. When our Australian friend died a few years ago, there was no way we could have attended otherwise, and I am glad we did. (That was during COVID restrictions, so we could not have booked a flight anyway.)
This past Friday, my sister and I attended the funeral of a close friend's mother. With all closeness, we had never met his mother - for his very own reasons, our friend has been keeping his family life strictly separate from his circle of friends. It was odd to hear the non-religious speaker talk about a person we'd never met and knew next to nothing about, a distinct feeling of being out of place. But our presence meant a lot to our friend, and it was good that we were there.
Meike, you knew CJ better than most people in Blogland (and probebaly better than some in real life) and he always spoke very highly of you. When I got my new Kindle (my old one - an original - having been abandoned by Amazon) I tried to download all my old books but some were no longer available, including CJ's. H discovered that it had gone from his latest Kindle too. I'm assuming the original still exists but the electronic version seems to have gone. I'm quite upset by that.
DeleteIt sounds like the perfect farewell to a much-loved brother, a true celebration, with smiles amidst the tears.
ReplyDeleteIndeed it was, Janice.
DeleteNo brother of yours could get through life without being extraordinary, Graham. Can't imagine you in this life or the next (if there is one) without a collection of jazzy ties and I wager some outrageous socks. I don't doubt your eulogy for John did him proud. Glad you are safely home away from all those people and cars. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pauline. One of the things about CJ was that there was a huge amount of life from which to distill a eulogy. The problem was keeping it within the time frame of the service.
DeleteYour brother certainly seemed like a great person to know, but unfortunately I ws not familiar with his blog posts. From reading this post, it seems he had a wonderfully colorful send-off with Jo's clothing selections. Glad you made it there and back home safely despite the traffic and humans.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice, CJ was a very interesting person and he had a befitting send-off. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteHe sounds like an amusing man with a good sense of humour and that is a long way for your son to drive. My youngest son was in London last year briefly and he said it was the busiest place he had ever been and he was hoping to never go back there too.
ReplyDeleteAmy, London is the very pitts when it comes to being overcrowded with people and vehicles.
DeleteIt sounds as though your little brother had a lovely send-off. Nobody who was at the funeral in a physical or virtual manner knew him as long as you did. Farewell CJ and if by chance there is an after life, please let us know. It was great that Gaz volunteered to be your chauffeur.
ReplyDeleteYP, if he gets back to me I'll let you know.
DeleteSo beautifully written, and such a nice description of your brother. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nan.
Delete