1 EAGLETON NOTES: Ennui

.

.

Friday, 15 July 2022

Ennui

Over Christmas and New Year and for a while after that I was not at all well. I isolated the whole time despite never testing positive for Covid. Whether I had Covid or not I'll never know. However ever since then I've had days of extreme tiredness where functioning normally has either been a huge effort or downright impossible. Fortunately it hasn't interfered too much with my life because I'm long past the age of having to work to keep food on the table. So if The Ennui hits me I just grumble and accept it. Fortunately one has to be pretty far gone before one can share a morning with friends over coffee in The Woodlands. On the odd occasion I have simply fallen asleep I've managed to avoid falling off my chair in public and when I wake up I'm just expected to catch up with the chat. That's what it's like with true friends. 

When I cam home from hospital last week the airport security was absolutely rammed with people and they were obviously short staffed. So getting through security took the best part of an hour I reckon. My metal work and exterior plumbing is always met with consideration and good humour on both sides but it does hold things up a bit for them. Few people were wearing masks.

The plane was full and  only a few of us were wearing masks.

So a couple of days later I tested positive.

Oddly a friend travelling from a different hospital, through a different airport on a different plane arrived home on Lewis the day before me and tested positive the day before I did. 

Neither of us is particularly unwell. 

However on the too frequent 'Ennui Days' when the feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction is so strong that even thinking about making a meal is an effort, it makes me realise just how many people there are who can't just sit down and say "Bugger it!" are now having to cope with the aftermath of this disease. 

When I was flying home last week I was reminded that, however thick the clouds, the sky above them is always clear:

36 comments:

  1. Dr Adrian has diagnosed Long Covid. I have suffered it and had a relapse last week when fencing was mentioned. Mucking out also brings it on. I'm sure were we still making small hay bales then haymaking would also cause an immediate relapse.
    Seriously get well soon and stop wearing masks, filthy horrible things they are. You stopped smoking so it oughtn't to be hard to do. I have always been exempt from the mask wearing as I haven't yet found one with a hole to poke the rollup in. I did think of using the leather punch to make a suitable orifice but didn't want to look stupid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS. Not your sort of fencing. I'm referring to the art of thumping posts into rock hard ground and dragging tonnes of mesh and wire betwixt them. We have the job mechanised now but it still gives me the heebie-jeebies. Found a Fritillary Butterfly the other day. That's my sort of work, sitting in the sun and waiting.

      Delete
    2. Thank you Adrian for your vintage Adrian comment. It takes me back! As for your last sentence I have always admired the Italian's art of dolce far niente.

      Delete
  2. Prayers for both your health
    The clouds, say it all.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We also found that our last day travelling home from the Channel Islands on Monday was uncomfortably crowded at both airports and on the bus and plane. Lots of people crammed in together, coughing sll over the place. So far, no symptoms and no positive test results. I hope we have escaped.
    I hope also that your Ennui soon dissipates, Geaham.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, JayCee. If it doesn't I'll just have to make the best of it. There's a million who've had Covid who are worse off.

      Delete
  4. I do not know if you saw my latest blog but I have finally accepted that my own endless fatigue (and a few other niggles) are Long Covid, so you have my deepest sympathy and a great deal of understanding. Your “ennui days” are perfectly described - a feeling of lassitude, almost lethargy. For some weird reason I cannot shake images of Day of the Triffids and an entire species just waiting to be picked off 😫

    As for airports, I wouldn’t go near them prior to the pandemic and definitely have no plans for the future - sadly you had no choice. I pity all the people trying to go on long-awaited holidays.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jayne, I have just read your post. I have been a bit tardy in my reading recently. In a way it is comforting to know there are many "out there' who have a similar experience. Missive follows asap.

      Delete
  5. Beautiful photo and nice thought that it illustrates. Some days we need to be reminded.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tigger, I try always to remember that there are always blue skies somewhere.

      Delete
  6. I like the sky always clear above analogy. Something to keep in mind when under the weather.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the analogy, too. It makes perfect sense to me.

      Delete
  7. "Blue skies looking at me, nothing but blue skies do I see".
    I do hope you get over that tired feeling very soon. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kay. Thanks for your thoughts. Stay safe.

      Delete
  8. I am sorry to hear you aren't feeling well but you have a good attitude and that will help you recover.
    I got tears in my eyes when I read about the blue skies. What a touching, encouraging thought. I will print it out and tape it where I can see it on those days when I need to see it! Thank you, Graham! Take care!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ellen, to be honest, I don't feel bad the majority of the time it's just when the tiredness hits that it's a bit debilitating. It'll make me far more understanding of people with chronic fatigue syndrome which many used to pretend didn't even exist.

      Delete
  9. That's not good news. It's not easy to just give yourself a kick and get going. I hope you find something that gets you on an even keel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not easy, Red, as you say but occasionally one just has to do just that.

      Delete
  10. Graham, Long Covid (and what you describe sounds very much like it) is bad news, but it is so very much You to see how so many people are far worse off than you, and how good it is that you can pretty much go as you please (or can) these days. The Glad Game!
    The picture of the sky and your analogy says it all. Thank you, and all the best for you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. When we first returned to France recently I had several days of extreme tiredness, and wondered if it was Covid related. I suppose there's no way of knowing. As far as I'm aware there's no test for having had it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cro there is a test for knowing if you've had Covid although how generally available it is I have no idea. A very close friend who is a senior nursing officer in a large hospital went down right at the start of the pandemic and was very seriously ill. Never at any time did she test positive for Covid. However she is only now getting to the stage of being able to walk up a complete flight of stairs in the hospital without stopping. She has been tested many times and her body is awash with the Covid indicators and has been from the start.

      Delete
  12. Those bouts of lethargy and lassitude seem pretty daunting, Graham, and must be exacerbated when you live alone, without even someone to make you a cup of tea. I was interested to hear of your experience flying, especially the fact that most passengers were unmasked. We have for the moment given up any thought of getting on a plane. The chaos at airports around the world seems to continue unabated, deteriorating even in some places, with cancelled flights and lost baggage becoming almost routine. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be an airline employee these days. I hope that your periods of fatigue diminish and that soon you are fully restored to your vigorous self. All the best - David

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comment and wishes, David. Unfortunately I had no choice but to fly given the circumstances although I'd rather travel by car where I can keep relatively safe. However life has to go on and very few people don't make it through now. The degree and length of the post Covid illness is something with which, at the moment, many thousands just have to live.

      Delete
    2. I am in admiration of your correct sentence structure with nary a dangling participle in sight!

      Delete
    3. You have made my day, David, and given me a good laugh. I almost finished the sentence with a preposition and at the last moment the Grammar Elf sitting on my shoulder shook his finger at me. He must have known that you would be reviewing it.

      Delete
    4. Mrs. RWP and I have been saying for years that we are afflicted with A.G.E. disease (age, get it?) to explain getting tired easily and feelings of fatigue/ennui. We have never been tested for COVID so don't know whether we have Long Covid but I doubt it. There is also the possibility that blocked coronary arteries contribute to the same feelings. In 2017 had to have five stents put in and never dreamed that the heart had anything to do with my condition. I thought I was just getting older and weaker -- you know, A.G.E.

      I love to remember that above the clouds, the sun is alwas shinging. Thank you for the reminder.

      Delete
    5. Bob, I had 5 stents inserted after a heart attack in 2000 and have never looked back. I agree that at 78 I'm past my best but this has a definite correlation with the illness at Christmas/New Year and now. Until then I was pretty well fit as a fiddle and never slept at all during the day. I don't now on a Good Day. However I am realistic enough to know that A.G.E. plays a part in our deterioration. My Mum and Dad were still walking up mountains at my age. I doubt I'd get over the first style at the moment.

      Delete
  13. Lovely photo and post from 'above the clouds' :) I think I've managed to avoid covid (so far had no real reason to get tested), but I do have experience of other kinds of "long" fatigue, so can relate... Hope that in spite of A.G.E. on top of it (I read the comments!) you'll find yourself gradually recovering also from that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monica, I know that you've had fatigue for a very long time and you've always coped with it with fortitude.

      Delete
  14. I'm planning a catching up on blogs day. (It's overcast and cold! A good enough excuse.) But this is not a good start, Graham. Your ennui sounds like Long Covid to me and I'm an expert now that a family member has it. Four months with it and Bill is starting to look a bit human and is coping a bit better. I think you just have to go with the flow, rest and sleep as the body dictates. Wishing you blue sky days!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Good morning Anonymous. Would I be correct in identifying you as Diane? Anyway thanks for your comment and advice. Going with the flow seems to be inevitable for survival.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pauline (now I know who you are) I've had problems ever since I was ill over Christmas and New Year when I never tested positive for Covid but was very unwell (for much of January). I've had tiredness since. Oddly I woke this morning with not even the slightest bit of residual tiredness and feel better than I've done for a long time. The rest of the day will tell me whether this is a false hope of better things. I spent yesterday afternoon with fairly heavy labour in the garden. I'm optimistic. I haven't tested today yet to see if I'm still positive. I'll do that this evening.

      Delete
  16. I hope there will be a break in those clouds very soon. Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much Jules. There is always a silver lining if one can just find it.

      Delete

Comment moderation is activated 14 days after the post to minimise unwanted comments and, hopefully, make sure that I see and reply to wanted comments.