I've been alive for the best part of 8 decades and people can still surprise or even shock me with very simple things.
In Glasgow when you get off a bus you say "Thank you, Driver." Everyone does. If you are in a shop and someone hands you something such as your change or your goods then you thank the person who served you. If you go to the hairdresser/barber then you thank the person who did your hair. If someone serves you a meal or a drink then you thank the person who served it and may thank the person. I could go on.
Many of us show our gratitude for good service in general in the hospitality industry in particular by leaving a tip as well.
When I am in hospital on a ward. I usually send a note of thanks and some chocolates as a token of my gratitude. I have always done it. I didn't, and still don't, think that is unusual.
So I was gobsmacked when, having mentioned that to someone, in passing, their comment was "But why?They are paid to do that!"
It's a much nicer world up here. I do drive a bit quickly but always give other road users the right of way or benefit of the doubt on single track roads and in town. In winter the locals are the same. I slow down if I see someone with an animal or young child. I always get a wave of thanks. Folk visiting from further south usually ask do you know them. If I do I usually cover my eyes with both hands and hit the brakes hard. They can't believe that both I and the other driver find it funny.
ReplyDeleteThe glen road has been like a skating rink this week, wasn't any better a fortnight ago and I'm still waiting for my winter tyres, £300,00p per corner I told Sandy to pop them where the sun don't shine. He's going to get back to me. It's a big gap to close, I was thinking £400 for the set top whack and fitted, three hundred for a friend. The Scot's are robbing sods but they do it politely. I sold his Hayledge in spring a couple of years ago. Told him to tell young Hannah that and to sharpen her pencil to a stub. Hannah is Sandy's daughter. They are fine if you don't weaken.
PS. They also say in shops. "Is that you." I keep telling them it sounds rude but it has little effect.
DeleteAdrian, I have found that, on the whole, Scots are a very friendly and polite - particularly in the West. They are polite in the East too but far more reserved (in Edinburgh and St Andrews anyway). Coming from Liverpool originally I think friendliness is in my genes too. As a child my parents probably drilled. politeness into me above almost anything else except honesty.
DeleteYou know, a little courtesy of this type greases the wheels of life very nicely. I always say thank you to others. The fact that they may be paid to do whatever it is I am thanking them for has nothing to do with it. It is in itself a little act of kindness to express appreciation. Sometimes I am on the receiving end and it always gives me a warm feeling. I lead a lot of bird walks and do a good deal of public speaking (mainly Zoom since COVID) and it is always a distinct pleasure when people say thank you, or tell that they learned from my presentation or the ID help on the walk. On the last walk a lady who has participated in several outings brought a book for me. Around this time of the year a few bottles of wine generally start to appear. I would continue to do what I do regardless of whether people express their appreciation or not, but it is certainly welcomed. I suspect that no one is immune from the warm feeling gained from a word of thanks and knowing that they have been appreciated. We need more of it, not less.
ReplyDeleteDavid, I agree wholeheartedly with the last few sentences of your comment.
DeleteIt seems that manners are eroded the further south one travels in this country or within the larger built up areas. My now partner, G. moved to my part of North Wales eight or so years ago from the south east of Londonium and even now is surprised that people say hello or good morning to strangers in passing. I found this strange until my first visit ‘down south’ with her to visit family....talk about folk leaving in the bubbles of their own little worlds!
ReplyDeleteRegards John
Good to meet you, John. I spent a lot of my childhood in North West Wales. As a Liverpudlian child with a passing knowledge of 'tourist' Welsh (from my Dad) and a natural Welsh lilt when I wanted it I always found myself very welcome and felt at home in Wales. Like Scots, Liverpudlians and the North Welsh are naturally friendly and polite.
DeleteAhhhh I remember the masses of scousers when we holidayed in Anglesey with my parents (many moons ago now)
DeleteSaying, "But why? They are paid to do that!" seems very sad to me. Acknowledging the good service of other people is a splendid and civilised habit. From personal experience, we also know how positive recognition and gratitude has lifted our own spirits in the past.
ReplyDeleteYP, it's sad beyond belief in my world too. I think we are, naturally, creatures who thrive on praise and thanks.
DeleteWhat an ignorant comment by that person. Rude and ignorant...he.she doesn't know what he/she is missing out on. Such a sad, empty existence....
ReplyDeleteSharing smiles and gratitude is so important...they not only lift the spirits of others, but our own. A simple, easy life pleasures.
It was, indeed, Lee and, as you said, it's such a simple thing to do.
DeleteYou are very right to express your appreciation. I certainly thank people who do things for me.
ReplyDeleteOf course you would, REd. You are always the gentleman.
DeleteCan there be too much kindness and good manners in this world? Absolutely not, keep doing what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Terra. I shall.
DeleteMy father taught me this, and I've always followed his example, not only in saying thank you but also giving small gifts to those who've offered good service. My father was extremely generous; I suppose I am less so, but I still try to emulate him.
ReplyDeleteCro, that's just how things were and it was that little bit getter for t
DeleteIt is always nice to feel acknowledged and appreciated. Good manners cost nothing. X
ReplyDeleteJules, you are absolutely correct but you'd think that it physically hurt some people to do it.
DeleteI always thank people for kindness shown or good service provided, regardless of whether or not it is a paid job. I made sure to thank the surgical team after my recent procedure and shall take them a gift when I attend my follow up appointment.
ReplyDeleteJayCee, I'm glad to see that you were back in circulation almost immediately. I've had a lot of surgical procedures in the last six or so years. Three involved skin cancers. The surgeon commented to me when I saw her the second time how lovely it had been to get the letter and that the last one she'd had had been when she had removed a SCC from my neck a year or two previously. Her husband, an orthopaedic surgeon, had had two in the previous year. I was, frankly, astonished.
DeleteSame here, I always thank people for whatever they do for me, regardless of it being a paid job or not. Gratitude is a dominating emotion in my personal mindset, and I don‘t take other people and what they do (for me and for others) for granted. Also, I was brought up learning to say thank you and certainly thank my parents for that.
ReplyDeleteMeike, I have a feeling that, in many ways, our upbringings were similar.
DeleteGraham - mark of your civilized attitudes. We are with you that thanking someone for dedicating themselves to otherwise thankless tasks, for exercising their professional expertise, or for simply doing WELL a job they would still be paid for if they did the bare minimum, is absolutely essential in a civilized society. It's the oil to the machinery. I used to hate working in jobs where excelling was only what was expected and anything less met with reprimand.. a thank you on the good days would have done so much more for morale and willingness.
ReplyDeleteTigger, in my humble opinion there is absolutely nothing like a friendly word of thanks or encouragement for getting staff to perform better. It's human nature.
DeleteWhat a poor response, that person is the poorer for their attitude. I think it is important to give thanks. We always talk and thank the check-out workers while others treat them as though they are automatons. We are always rewarded with a smile and a friendly conversation and our day is all the better for it.
ReplyDeleteRosemary, it's a long while since we met. Thank you for reminding me about check-out operators. Possibly my next post.
DeleteA sad commentary by one who lacks gratitude. Giving thanks and recognition to individuals for services rendered--no matter how big or how small--is to recognize their humanity. One only has to watch people on their mobiles texting or chatting while being served by cashiers, clerks or others, to see the degradation of manners in our society. In situations like that, I've found myself saying thank you for others when they don't--even when I don't know them. Or loudly saying, "You're welcome!" when I've held a door for someone and they walk through without even looking at me or acknowledging the courtesy. Just a little friendly reminder to mind their manners... :)
ReplyDeleteMary, your point about doors being held open reminded me of an occasion a few years ago (I wonder if I ever blogged it?) when I held a door open for someone who walked through it as said "I'm perfectly capable of opening a door, thank you." If the 'thank you' had come first I might have been less offended.
DeleteI am always grateful and thankful to people who have provided a service for me. I always say thank you as it is an easy way to make others feel appreciated! Good manners!
ReplyDeleteEllen, like you, obviously, I was brought up to believe that good manners were important.
DeleteI say hello to strangers and thank you to anyone who helps me in any way, even a box of donuts to the first responders who carted my husband to the ER when he had a stroke, but I see ill-mannered people all around me and I only have to think they were raised by wolves!
ReplyDeleteJill, you have sent me off on a wild wolf chase. I have always believed that wolves were rather maligned animals. I read that Wolves care for each other as individuals. They form friendships and nurture their own sick and injured and play together into old age. They raise their young as a group, and they care for injured companions. When they lose a pack mate, there is evidence that they suffer and mourn that loss. Having said that I have absolutely no doubt that if I was stupid enough to get near a pack I wouldn't hear a single 'thank you' from any of them as they tore me apart.
DeleteGraham, this is spot on. I'm indulging in one of my secret pleasures, that of reading modern Westerns, and am in the middle of one titled, Land of Wolves, by a favored author, Craig Johnson (author of the Walt Longmire series). Anyway, wolves were obviously on my mind when I mentioned ill-mannered people raised by them.
DeleteI've always thought the dividing line to be Nottingham. North of the Trent people talk to each other, south they don't. In Yorkshire, we thank people all the time and bus drivers call you love, even male to male.
ReplyDeleteTasker, I've never been sure where The Line is but I'm always a bit trepidatious when I get past Watford.
DeleteThere's a lot of thanking in our shops here too, even if perhaps a bit less lately because of increased use of self-scanning (at supermarkets), and also increased use of debit/credit cards instead of cash (so you rarely receive any change back these days to say extra thanks for). Your comment about the bus drivers made me think and realize that probably don't get a lot of thanks here these days, as cash is no longer accepted on the buses and one usually just holds one's card up to a machine when entering the bus, and partly because one usually gets off through a back door, and not in front where the driver is. As for health care, it's been a long time since I last had a steady contact with any person (it's usually a new face every time). I'm pretty sure I still more or less automatically say "thanks" after receiving something, though - whether it's a bag of something I bought, a direction, a form to fill in, or a flu jab... Thinking back to my working days, as medical secretary at a rehab unit, I know it was not uncommon that long-term patients came back visiting with cake or chocolates or whatever for the staff as a way of saying thanks for a longer period of good care. Always appreciated!
ReplyDeleteMonica, that's a pretty good summary of life in the city at the moment. WE did have busses with different exits in Glasgow but all the ones I can recall being on still exit by the driver. I think a lot of people tried to use the exit as an entrance to avoid the fare.
DeleteThat comment says some very sad things about the person who uttered it, but sadly I fear that mindset is becoming the norm. Not ruddy round here it's not though . . . I always say thank you, for anything, treat others as you wish to be treated and all that.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I used the self-scan thing in a supermarket for a couple of items and as I left made a point of saying thank you to the chap who was supervising the area (he'd had to come and do the supervisor-swipe thing for me). He genuinely looked surprised, but I made him smile, so it was all worth it ☺️
At the beginning of the pandemic I remember hoping that we all might end up being kinder to each other, but I'm not sure that is happening.
Jayne I think there was a glimmer of hope during and just after the first lockdown but it was short-lived.
DeleteI'm far too disorganised to do things like give chocolates to my nurses but I do always say thank you to people who serve me and I say it with genuine appreciation.
ReplyDeleteMany years ago I was going through a McDonalds drive-thru with fractious children in the car, I didn't immediately look at attendant and when asked what kind of day i was having I grumbled, then looked up to see it was someone I knew. I was embarassed and learnt my lesson
Kylie, mind you that's a bit like the checkout operator saying, without looking up "Have a nice day". I used to have a badge I wore in the US which said "Don't tell me what sort of a day to have."
DeleteYou are a polite and compassionate person. People that don't understand the power of thank you are an anomaly in the cosmos that compassionate people live in.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliment, Maywyn. You are correct, of course, but I just don't want to believe such people exist even though I know they do.
DeleteNot enough people say "thank you". It might seem like a little thing but it can mean so very much.
ReplyDeleteKay, I think they are two of the most important words we can utter on an everyday basis.
DeleteI agree with you there Graham, not enough people say thank you. These days it's all about me, me, me we live in quite a selfish society. I was raised to use my manners to say please and thank you and having worked in the retail industry for over 5 years I know how important it is to tell someone they've done a great job, it just makes your day so much nicer.
ReplyDeleteYes, Amy, it does and I think people are so vary sad when they don't realise that.
DeleteSomething that I try very hard to do is the remember the 'little people'. There are people in this world who work very hard for very little reward, and they are totally taken for granted. We went out to eat and noticed a bus boy who really never stopped, not for a minute, scooting around from table to table. The person who was seating diners was rolling his eyes. Obviously the busboy was not working fast enough for him. The disrespect caught our attention. Before we left, we made a point to speak to the young man, and to tell him how impressed we were with his hard work. We tipped him, and I honestly think that it was the first time that had ever happened. But even if you simply make a point to say, "I really love your cheerfulness" or "You really do a good job," or even "I really like how you make a point of speaking to the customer" really does make a difference in someone's day. It costs nothing.
ReplyDeleteEvery day is a school day, Debby. I had never heard the term bus boy. Just listening to our news this morning brought to my attention something I know but don't really think about as a rule. You have just brought it to my attention. There are people in this world whose object in life seems to be to find fault with other people. I think what you did for the bus boy was a really lovely gesture.
DeleteSaying "thank you" to people either by expression or a small gift is never not appreciated especially by the recipient. You never know when you might just make someone's day a little brighter or better just by thanking him or her. Good for you to keep doing so, Graham, and shame on that person who commented "But why?They are paid to do that!" because they truly shored ignorance.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice, your comment emphasises that you are someone with a very positive outlook - as your blog shows.
DeleteA Happy Christmas to you, Graham, all the way from Georgia USA.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bob. Your greeting is welcome and reciprocated.
DeleteAnother Happy Christmas wish from New Mexico USA.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jill. I hope that you have a very happy day too.
DeleteHappy Christmas from Cairns GB
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, Carol, I was thinking about you when I was doing my Christmas cards and was wondering how you were keeping and where you are. I suspect you've long ago moved on from the address I have.
DeleteHappy Christmas from across the Pond.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Mary. I hope that you have a very Happy Christmas too.
Delete