1 EAGLETON NOTES: Welcome to The USA

.

.

Wednesday 24 June 2020

Welcome to The USA

I have just commented on YP's blog that he had "compounded the felony." 

I was immediately reminded of my very first visit to the USA. I was staying with a friend from my teenage years (with whom I had a strong and lasting friendship until she died last year) in Sarnia which is an oil industry town at the southern end of Lake Huron in Ontario. On the opposite side of the canal separating Canada and the US is Port Huron, MI. There is a lot of daily commuter and commercial traffic across the bridge between the two cities.

Mo decided one afternoon that we would visit one of her favourite hotel/afternoon tea/coffee places at Saint Clair on the Michigan side of the canal a short drive away.  To get there we had to cross the bridge which, of course, had a customs post. Most drivers, of course, just showed their passport/papers and proceeded without let or hindrance. Mo, with a British passport despite having lived in Canada for may years, just said "Canadian landed" and was about to be waved on when the customs officer nodded at me and said "Canadian landed too?" I replied that I was simply a visitor so was handed a red card and told to present myself to immigration. 

On entering a massive barn of a place with a huge counter with a raised floor on the other side so that even a person of small stature on the other side would have towered above me. As it was there was one person in this barn of a place. She was a female person of great height and build with a pearl handled gun on her belt. It is amazing the things one remembers. 

There were some gentle "Hellos" on my part. She did not look like the sort of person one wanted to antagonise. Eventually she decided to get out of her chair (from which she had looked up when I entered) and come and tower over me. "Well?" she asked. I presented my red card and my passport. After what seemed like an age she repeated the "Well?" This confused me so I told her I'd just been told to come and see her. After what seemed like an eternity she asked where I was going. I couldn't remember. For some reason this really annoyed her. I said I'd go and ask my friend. This set her off again and asked why my friend hadn't come in. I explained. Then, fortunately, I remembered. This didn't appease her. The questioning continued for some time and included the question "Have you got any venereal diseases?" (I realised from later questionnaires she was supposed to ask if I'd had any) to which I so wanted to say "No, why, do you want one?" but decided better of it.  Then amongst many others came the question "Have you ever committed a felony?" 

Now one of the things I remembered from my law lectures (I was a post-felony era law student) that felonies had been repealed in the UK by the Criminal Law Act of 1967 (I think that was the year). So I'd never had to know what a felony was. However I knew that in English Law felonies were Bad Things. So I was tempted to ask her to tell me what a felony was and I'd tell her if I'd ever committed one. I decided instead to say "No."

After what seemed like an interminable time I was released with my green card stapled into my passport and told that if I didn't surrender it when I left the country I'd not get in again. 

The whole episode was much longer than all that and included a lot more unfriendly incidents. I actually wondered if they were designed to make me lose my cool or whether she was just a bored bully. 

It rather ruined my afternoon and, more importantly, completely coloured my view of Americans because she was only the second (the first was the perfectly civil chap who had given me the card and caused all my angst in the first place) American I'd met on American soil. 

Other visits that holiday passed off without incident because I had my green card. Which, of course, I forgot to surrender at the airport when I left Canada. 

I may post a sequel at some time. Don't worry, though. It won't be soon.

56 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Funny now, Maywyn, but I wasn't laughing at the time.

      Delete
    2. We need to know for our records, Graham.
      HAVE you had any venereal diseases?
      HAVE you ever committed a felony?
      HAVE you always worn a beard?
      HAVE you ever been a member of the Raving Loony Party?
      HAVE you a thing for butch Immigration Officers?
      HAVE you made the whole thing up?
      Well?

      Delete
  2. I'll wait. YP takes some understanding.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It’s a strange country. I used to visit a couple of times a year and generally had a pretty good time. This was many, many years ago and an English person in some of the places I went to was a huge novelty. One town I visited (where I was staying with a local family) asked if I would go and speak to the 7 year olds at school that afternoon - none of them had ever met someone from Europe.

    I once took a scheduled flight from Chicago to a tiny Illinois town, on a worryingly small plane, with seven passengers. Upon departure the chief steward gave the usual announcement, with a twist. “We’d like to thank you for flying American Eagle this morning. We know you have a choice and appreciate you travelling with us. We would like to wish you all a safe onward journey and hope the lady from England enjoys her visit”.

    Sadly the America I used to visit is a very different place now, and I think it a huge shame that most folk seem to have forgotten that nearly everyone’s ancestors, except for the First People, arrived either because they were running away from something or running towards something. Although perhaps the First People, when they crossed the Bering Strait WERE going exactly that?

    I don’t find your story surprising Graham, and want to thank you hugely for triggering some lovely memories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On the whole, Jayne, on my visits to and holidays in the US I have found people charming and friendly. However border control have, on the whole, been an unfriendly pain in the bahookie. There was one very memorable exception and I shall blog about that some time.

      Delete
  4. Drat - going is meant to be DOING

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have had a few similar encounters on my travels. Perhaps it is something about wearing a uniform that brings out the bully in some people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very possibly, JayCee, but on the other hand I never had the slightest problem anywhere in Canada, Australia or New Zealand nor any European country.

      Delete
  6. I used to get really annoyed by people telling stories of how awful Americans are, until I realized that Americans are truly awful... I'm just a really rare specimen that possesses metric butt-tons of awesome qualities. So now when I hear how awful Americans are, I realize it's really just pointing out, subliminally, how fabulous I am.

    Joking.

    But seriously, most of my friends are from Scotland, England, and South Africa. So yeah, your opinion holds water.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marcheline, I wasn't telling a story of how awful Americans are. I was talking about, firstly, one particular American and, secondarily, Americans whom I have encountered at Border Control. Even there there has been one very remarkable exception to my generalisation. I have made the point in my comments above that on the whole in my visits and holidays in the US I have found people very friendly indeed. And, don't forget two of my special friends are from the US!

      Delete
    2. I know, GB - but we Americans always take everything to the extreme, so I just laid on the crazy. Honestly, I think I was born in the wrong era AND the wrong country. I should have been born in Scotland in the late 1930s. But then again, if I was born in Scotland I might not know and love it the way I do now. Which would be a great shame. And I will never forget that two of your special friends are from the US... because I am one of them! And so very blessed to be.

      Delete
    3. PS: Come over to mine and check out the new decor!

      Delete
  7. It would take a lot longer than you took to relate my experience at the USA border, en route to Canada, I wasn't even trying to get into their country. Maybe border control personnel in some countries receive extra training in being intimidating others have extra training in being welcoming. Depends on how threatened the people feel by strangers. At the time I put it down to profiling and thought there must be an innocent looking, slightly confused looking grandmother drug smuggler on the loose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pauline, I have long ago given up trying to work out what goes through the minds of US immigration personnel. Possibly it's a conditioning to work on the basis that everyone is a rogue and a charlatan wanting to enter the land of milk and honey although why a person with a UK, New Zealand or Australian passport would want to do that heaven alone knows. The worst was when transiting through LA when one is technically on New Zealand soil when travelling on Air New Zealand but the US ignores international law when it suits it.

      Delete
  8. Some of the customs agents can be real jerks. As in your case they ask such awkward questions that it's difficult to come up with a suitable answer as the questions can be taken in several different ways. I like some of the answers that went through your head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have heard that US Border Control are not keen on Reds. After all, as Joseph McCarthy discovered, there are Reds under all of our beds.

      Delete
    2. Fortunately, Red, I was sensible and didn't use those answers.

      Delete
  9. My father visited Canada in 1953, then crossed the border into the USA. At the crossing he witnessed the US border control people totally dismantling a car. My father asked his Canadian friend why the were doing it, and he was told that the driver had probably made some flippant remark, and was being punished. He was expected to put the car back together himself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cro, unfortunately similar incidents have happened in the UK although usually, one assumes, with good cause. Trying to be annoying or smart is probably as good a reason as any.

      Delete
  10. So far, I have been to the US only once, in 1999 (pre-9/11, obviously). I remember how, while still on the plane, we were handed questionnaires to fill in. I couldn't help laugh and wonder about some of the questions, such as whether we were regular using drugs (yes of course!) or had we taken part in any act of genocide (sure!) or terrorism (absolutely!). Do those who came up with the questions seriously believe a drug addict, terrorist or other type of person they don't want in their country answers such questions honestly?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meike, we've all had those forms to fill out and if you make a mistake then you can get sent to the back of the queue without even being told what the mistake is. One reason they ask the questions is that if they already know that you have a conviction (and believe me it's amazing what they know) the non-declaration is a criminal offence and they can refuse you entry for not declaring it.

      Delete
  11. The worst border control person I have come across was when re-entering New Zealand and the woman on duty was being exceptionally rude to the passenger in front of me. She was so rude it made me cringe, but she was quite polite to me. Strange how some people act.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Margaret, it only takes one wrong look or statement to get someone's back up and they have the power. Always be nice to your surgeon, your hairdresser and border control is a good rule.

      Delete
  12. I never realised that you were such a bad man Graham. Now I understand why you became a fugitive from the law and sought anonymity in your Isle of Lewis hideaway. I guess you are permanently blacklisted in the computerised annals of U.S. Immigration Control.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YP, it's amazing what you don't know about me. Oddly I've never had such a bad experience since. Changing my identity helped I think.

      Delete
    2. I knew that your real name was Buster Fitzgibbon of the notorious Liverpudlian crime gang. The beard and the bush hat didn't fool me.

      Delete
  13. I hope the coffee was worth it! :)

    Dragons come in all shapes and forms!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true, Lee, they do and, yes, the trip was worth it and we went back a few times over the years.

      Delete
  14. Oh my goodness! I'm surprised you even allow me to join this group since I'm a terrible American. I have traveled to Europe, several countries, and never been treated any way other than respectfully, but then, please note that I was on my very best behavior not to be an "Ugly American." Seriously, I am sure all your comments are true and I would not come to this country right now if I did not already live in Santa Fe, New Mexico. My country is in the midst of implosion and I'm fearful of what we will be if we are able to survive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jill, as I've said to a few commenters this was not an inditement of Americans but of one particular American (initially) and of Border Control in general afterwards. That was the only time I've been treated so discourteously though. I don't think many countries are doing too well at the moment.

      Delete
    2. Oh not to worry, I didn't take these comments personally as I would never treat anyone from another country in that manner.

      Delete
    3. I'm sure, Jill, that you wouldn't. After all (laughing) you're a Volvo owner.

      Delete
  15. Bob. I accidentally deleted your comment. Please could you resubmit it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. rhymeswithplague has left a new comment on your post "Welcome to The USA":

      A great story, Graham! And told so well. I enjoyed that immensely.

      Did the U.S. ever let you back in since you didn't return the green card?

      Delete
    2. Yes, Bob, they did. I returned it to the US Embassy in the UK.

      Delete
  16. Sad to say, I'm not surprised. Have had encounters like that with a few border agents...including one upon entering the UK. Guy was really nasty at first even though I answered his questions civilly, but then he found out I grew up in the UK and had a British mother. All of sudden he was my bestie--laughing and joking. But then, I've even had discourteous treatment as an American entering the US Customs in Canada (from a UK flight) despite having a Global Entry card (meaning I've been interviewed in person and had my fingerprints taken which is supposed to speed up entry from international flights and costs $100 every five years for the privilege). Had my luggage thoroughly searched and when I struggled to get a very tight protective case off my mobile as part of that search, the woman said if I couldn't do it, I wouldn't be allowed through. A real charmer. Power-tripping.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary, "US Customs in Canada" has me flummoxed. Is your Global Entry Card American or Canadian?

      Delete
  17. My Global Entry card is American.

    Certain Canadian airports, for example, such as Toronto, Quebec, Vancouver have US Customs and Immigration services/offices within the airport that allow people to go through the US immigration process before flying on to the US. So you can get off an international flight as I did in Toronto, and then go to a separate terminal within the airport where they have a US security screening set up, as well as the usual US passport procedures--all staffed by US Customs and Immigration. You aren't allowed out of that area once you have cleared security and customs except to get on your flight. All flights from that particular area/terminal go to the US but when the flights arrive in the US they are handled as if they were a domestic flight having already cleared customs in Canada. Passengers don't have to go through any additional clearance. Allows for a lot of Canadian flights to go to smaller cities/airports in US since not all US airports have customs/immigration facilities. Dublin Airport (and Shannon) has the same kind of arrangement with the US. Someone leaving from there and flying to the US can clear customs there and avoid having to do it upon arrival in the US. Hope this explanation is helpful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary, thank you very much indeed for that explanation. I was quite confused. It's a really good idea. Thinking about it it's similar to the UK having its customs control for the Channel Tunnel (and probably the boats too) from France in France so that when you come off the train (and ferries?) you just drive straight off and onto the UK highway system. You've made me wonder what will happen when the final arrangements for Brexit happen.

      Delete
  18. Well you stirred up some memories amongst your readers. I tend to agree border control over there is weird.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Diane, it doesn't just seem to me that has had unfortunate experiences then.

      Delete
  19. oh dear, I would've been quite anxious at all of that, it sounds like you stayed calm and handled it well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amy, when it comes to dealing with Border Control there is only one thing to do if you don't want to end up in a cell being strip searched: you stay calm and civil.

      Delete
  20. Interesting incident, well perhaps that is not the best choice of wording, Graham, and now I am wondering what will happen IF we are able to take a planned trip to Canada in Sept. It’s still “iffy” now according to the travel agent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who knows, Beatrice, the world is such a strange place for us all at the moment.

      Delete
  21. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  24. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Comment moderation is activated 14 days after the post to minimise unwanted comments and, hopefully, make sure that I see and reply to wanted comments.