1 EAGLETON NOTES: A Friend

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Wednesday, 3 April 2019

A Friend

I have been away from the Island since last weekend.

Yesterday I lost a friend:  a friend with a capital F.

We had been friends for over four decades.

We had also been colleagues. John had professional and personal integrity of the highest order. He was a man with a disorganised desk and an organised mind.

He had a sense of humour which was sometimes a little macabre, sometimes a little offbeat, sometimes downright obscure but always cleverly thought out and considered. He was also a master of anagrams (Western Isles = Wetness riles).

John was a man with considerable generosity of spirit.

John was a family man: his family were everything to him and his life revolved around his family. John and his wife formed a partnership without which John would not have been complete.

John has now escaped the cruel cancer that consumed him.

My heart goes out to those he has left behind.

I may not be visiting Blogland much for a little while.

46 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, Graham. The loss of a great friend deserves a good period of mourning.

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    1. Thank you Kylie. I've been thinking about your last sentence ever since I first read it. When our elder son was dying he specified that no one was to mourn his death but only to celebrate his life and, in fact, he organised his own funeral/life celebration entirely on that basis. I feel a huge sadness for the gap that the death of my friend will leave in all our lives but whilst writing the eulogy all I've been able to think of is the happy times we all shared.

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  2. I am sorry to hear your news and your sadness Graham. I am on my blog or my email if wish to talk at any time.

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    1. Thank you Rachel. Today is the first day that I've stopped to take stock after a week dominated by the loss and being needed for chauffeuring duties etc which has made me at least feel useful. Thank you for your kind offer. Who knows, I may well yet take you up on it.

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  3. Graham, I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Rail safety= fairy tales. Not sure if that counts but I saw it so thought I would tell you. You must know it. Sure your friend would have! Will be thinking of you.

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    1. Hello Kay. Given that my friend was a rail enthusiast from the age of about two until he died I'm sure that he would have appreciated that. In fact it might find its way into the eulogy.

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  4. I am so sorry to read this, Graham. John sounds like a good man. It must have been a privilege to have known him for all those years.

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    1. Thank you Jules. He was a good man and there can be few greater compliments in my book.

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  5. Take your time Graham. Not too long mind; don't want you doing a Capt. Oats.

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    1. Thank you Adrian. That gave me a good chuckle. I might me some time but not, I hope, as long as the good Captain.

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  6. I hope you will permit a message of sincere condolences from a stranger. I do read your blog but have not previously commented. I too lost a very old and dear friend not too long ago and can still feel the immense pain and sadness that I am sure you must be experiencing. I am very sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thank you very much JayCee. The kindness of strangers is a kindness always to be savoured.

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  7. What sadness you as a Friend (with capital F) and his family must be feeling at the loss of such a wonderful man I can only imagine. Thank you for letting us know, and for alerting us to maybe not blogging for a while.

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    1. Thank you Meike. I think you will be home by now (I've lost track of time) and I'll catch up with your holiday adventures soon.

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  8. So sad to hear of your friends death. I feel for you as it is very hard to process the knowledge that you can never again speak to and laugh with this great friend. Cancer is a brute and so I hope you take a little solace knowing that John is now out of pain. Our good friend, also John is going through the very same pain from this insidious disease just now. Take your time to grieve and come back here only when you feel you can.

    Regards Beverley

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    1. Thank you Beverley. I'm sorry to hear the news of your friend. I hope that he doesn't suffer.

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  9. So sorry for your loss. Even when we know it will happen it's always hard to take in. If you can be 'there' for/with the family I'm sure that's appreciated! A line from a song comes to mind for me as I read your post, from Old Friends/Bookends by Paul Simon: "Preserve your memories, they’re all that's left you"...

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    1. Thank you Monica. I can't immediately recall that song so I shall look it up and play it.

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  10. We were sorry to hear of John's passing GB. We are thinking of you and his family, xx

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  11. Sorry for the loss of your good Friend. That was a very lovely piece you've written to introduce him.

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    1. Thank you Pipistrello. I'm hoping that the eulogy will be even more lovely.

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  12. My sympathy to you. I'm sorry for your loss of a very good friend.

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  13. It's tough losing good friends. You have my genuine sympathy.

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    1. It is indeed Cro. We had many good years and many of those were when he and his wife had the house in France: such wonderful memories.

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  14. Knowing that a Friend is not long for this world does not soften the blow. As with others, our sympathy to his family and other friends.

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  15. My dearest love to you Geeb from down here in Kiwiland.

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    1. Thank you so much, Kate, for your support on and off blog!

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  16. I empathise, Graham. I'm sorry you've lost a dear friend. Sorrow is far too often an unwelcome visitor these days, it seems...with everyone.

    Allow yourself to grieve...also allow yourself to dwell on the fun, cherished, good memories...they will always remain with you. Take good care.

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    1. Thank you Lee. I'm more of a one for dwelling on the good times we had and the wonderful memories we shared.

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  17. Prayers and sympathies for your loss

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  18. So sorry for the loss of your friend :-(

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  19. A lovely tribute to your friend. A sad time for you.

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  20. Sorry for the lost of your dear friend.

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    1. Thank you Jill. I'm glad you are still reading the blog.

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  21. Fare ye well John... Heartfelt words upon his passing.

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  22. Oh Graham, I am sorry for your loss.

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  23. A Friend is truly a loss indeed - so many memories and good times to remember but salso uch sadness that there will be no more to make together.
    I am sorry I haven't commented sooner - I tried to when I first read it but the Ipad makes commenting a mission and so finally I have returned on a computer. Really this is a snail mail scenario - I think of you often as I keep your lovely cards in my kitchen.
    XX

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    1. Thank you Fiona. I know that you understand loss in it's many guises and you and yours have always been an inspiration since I've known you.

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