Age Is a State of Mind

I have been having my leg pulled a because of an article in that rag the UK's Daily Mail.  Frankly if one reads that then one has no right to cast aspersions of any sort on anyone about age or any other thing.   However I do feel obliged to respond.

Apparently researchers have come to the conclusion that there are 50 signs that indicate that we are ageing.  I was rather gobsmacked to read the list.  I've divided it up into sections and omitted a few.  The grammar of the list is that of the journalist, not of me.

Allowance has to be made in my categorisation and comments for the fact that my Mum said I was born with my pension book in my hand.  In actual fact it took me until I was in my sixties before I became really young.

These are things which never, well hardly ever, apply to me; my comments are in parentheses: 

• Saying "In my day."
• Saying "It wasn't like that when I was young."
• Falling asleep in front of the TV.
• Needing an afternoon nap.
• Struggling to use technology. [I've always been a gadget geek.]
• You start complaining about more things. [I complain far less than I used to.  Life is far more precious now and I find relatively little in everyday life to complain about and I've stopped campaigning on the Big Issues - that's for the young.]
• Complaining about the rubbish on TV these days. [It's better now than it ever was - although I'm not sure that's a huge compliment.]
• Misplacing your glasses/bag/keys etc. [One of the hardly evers.]
• Preferring a night in with a board game than a night out on the town. [I never could stand board games and I never could stand nights out on the town either,]
• You talk to colleagues who are so young they don't know what an Opal Fruit is. [If you have colleagues you can't be that old.  I never was very fond of Opal Fruits.]
• You start taking slippers to a friends house. 
• Taking a keen interest in the Antiques Road Show.
• Falling asleep after one glass of wine. [I used to do that at one point in my life even  when in the middle of a meal, until the doctor casually mentioned that one of the heart pills I was taking could have that effect.  He changed it and the problem disappeared.]
• Never going out without your coat. [What's a coat?  Oh yes.  The thing I wear for funerals: a Crombie I bought before I came to Lewis 40 years ago.  It's still going strong - for funerals.]
• Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out.  [I avoid drinking tea or coffee when out because of the inevitable consequences.]
• Always driving in the slow lane or below 70 in the middle lane of a motorway. [Don't get me started on that one!]
• Consider going on a 'no children' cruise for a holiday. {Never have, never will.]
• Gasping for a cup of tea.  [Never have and don't anticipate that I ever will.]

I have had the following feelings or traits for as long as I can recall:

• Thinking that policemen, doctors and teachers look young.
• Putting everyday items in the wrong place
• Hating noisy pubs.
• Choosing clothes for comfort rather than for style. [Preferably comfort and style.]
• Forgetting people's names. [Ever since an incident in 1965.]
• Not knowing any songs in the Top Ten. [Actually as a teenager at school I was pretty clued up but I didn't know the Top Ten was still going.  Is the New Musical Express still published?]
• Joining the National Trust. [I joined in my early 20s!]
• Drinking sherry. [I stopped doing that many years ago.  With the exception of Tio Pepe - long story.]
• Finding you have no idea what young people are talking about. [I had that problem when I was a child/teenager/adult.]

These are fairly recent acquisitions:

• Really enjoying crosswords or puzzles.
• Feeling stiff.
• Obsessive gardening or bird feeding. [Well almost obsessive this summer.]

I'm not sure where this one falls:

• Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you think even if it isn't polite. [I often have the feeling but I rarely act upon it.]

What do you think of the researcher's list?