1 EAGLETON NOTES: Gone

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Saturday, 30 April 2016

Gone

Saturday 0519. My bedroom door opened. I woke to a voice saying "I'm on my way." Still in bed and barely awake I hugged my dear friend and tried in the few seconds available to convey the depth of my gratitude for his care, help and support over the last three weeks. Then he was gone: the house silent. I was alone. David and Molly The Dog are on their way back to their life in the diagonally opposite corner of Scotland. Thank you Deborah for the loan of your husband.

I lay contemplating life, the universe and everything and why the answer was, or is, 42.  I realised that, to all intents and purposes, I was likely to be on my own for the first time since January.

I rose and made a cup of hot water and lemon and marvelled at the sunrise:
 
 
I will miss the banter, the daily coffee and crossword at The Woodlands and the help: I haven't lifted a finger or even cooked a meal since I left the hospital nine sleeps ago. I will miss the fact that I've had a chauffeur on call. I will not be allowed to drive for over four weeks at the earliest.

Many equate being on one's own with being alone. That's not always the case and I'm always conscious of how fortunate I am that it isn't for me. I love company and my house is always open home to friends and visitors. However I don't think that I was actually designed (without meaning to start any deep philosophical discussion) to live with anyone. After all I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't want to live with me so why should I think that someone else might? In any case having lived on my own for 16 years I've grown far too set in my ways.

So as David, Molly and The Beast make their way out of Stornoway Harbour and sail into a beautiful morning and a Calmac breakfast I shall break out the yoghurt, eat some strawberries, make toast with Marmite and peanut butter, take my tablets with Red Bush Tea and count my blessings.

David and The Beast overlooking Bayble Bay

30 comments:

  1. Now that is a beautiful sunrise to wake up to. I have more thoughts but not sure how to put them down in words so will leave it at that. Have a lovely weekend.

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    1. Thank you Serenata. I wish you a happy, peaceful and contented weekend too.

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  2. Your thoughts echoed mine on bidding farewell to James and Silke.

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  3. Good to hear you are independent again. If you hired an automatic you could drive left footed.

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    1. That's it Adrian: always the practical approach.

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  4. You were lucky to have such a good friend to care for you. With today's technology you are fairly close to everyone. I hope you keep improving and drinking in the sunrises.

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    1. Diane I never forget how fortunate I am with the friends that I have.

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  5. And you will be counting for a long time, I think. I reckon you have a lot of blessings, Graham. :)

    I love living alone. There is no way I could live with anyone (and, no doubt, the reverse is the case, too). I never get lonely. I'm able to spell it, but I don't know the meaning of the word. :)

    I thoroughly enjoy, and prefer my own company and that of my two furry rascals. Except for a couple of brief interludes, I've lived alone since 1986 - from when my ex and I went our separate ways. I honestly believe that I'm meant to live my life alone; and it doesn't worry at all that I am this way.

    What a beautiful sunrise...such a calm, tranquil time of the day...and there is always that brief moment of silence when everything, birds included, goes completely still and quiet...and then, the day gets down to business.

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    1. One of the things about this part of the Isle of Lewis, Lee, is that there is no dawn chorus and the day is rarely very quiet at any time: the sea and the wind generally see to that.

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  6. That sunrise, wow, that is gorgeous.
    You are never alone since you have a blog! Of course, I can't pop round and make you a cup of tea, but I know that you have friends around you who will do so! (Even though I am American, I CAN make a good cup of tea, you will just have to take my word for it!)
    Counting your blessings, Graham, I love this post!

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    1. Thank you Kay. Coincidentally I've just been visiting you. Of course you are right: Blogland and blogging friends are always part of one's life.

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  7. Having read your blog for a few years now Graham, I am sure you will have friends and neighbours who will call on you. Just don't do anything silly without anyone there and perhaps keep your phone with you in case of an emergency.

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    1. Carol my cellphone lives in my top pocket but I am being very careful. I'm mindful of how easy it would be to miss a step or trip or fall if the knee gave way.

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  8. Major events in our lives give us cause for reflection. Yes, we can get set in our ways. I could live alone and like it.

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    1. Red you are obviously happy in your own skin.

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  9. It truly was very good of Deborah to lend you her husband, and of David and Molly to look after you so well. Knowing you a little bit through your blog and the comments you leave on mine, I expect you won't be doing anything silly, now that you're on your own. Instead, your healing process will keep moving along as smoothly as it has done so far.

    Steve died 6 1/2 years ago, and I have not had a problem with living on my own from Day One. That does not mean I did not (and still do!) miss him; it means that I feel very comfortable with just myself for company most of the time. I love my friends and family, and I would miss having that Special Someone in my life - someone I love, and who loves me - but I don't need anyone's company 24/7, not even his.
    Like Lee said in her comment, I am not lonely when I am alone.

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    1. I think Meike we have quite a lot in common in that way.

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  10. What a glorious sunrise. I hope you had a good day in your own company (that is, if you actually did get the whole day to yourself). I very rarely feel lonely when alone in my own home (only if there's something I can't manage by myself). The feeling is more likely to hit me if I have to go away somewhere on my own (in situations where most other people come in pairs or groups, for example).

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    1. Monica having a partner for functions etc can sometimes be a problem for those of us who live alone but I'm fortunate in that I generally have a partner for must functions but where I don't it rarely bothers me now.

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  11. Yes you are truly blessed. To enjoy ones own company, but also to enjoy opening up your home to friends and family is truly having the best of both worlds. Glad to read that your recovery has gone well.

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  12. It always surprises me that so many people think alone and lonely mean the same thing. I've had a few moments of feeling alone in the past 25 years (crikey, has it been that long?) but not lonely. The only time I've wished to change my living alone status is when I travel. I found it hard looking at something of awe inspiring beauty and not having someone with whom to share it. (Hah, I remembered the preposition rule!) And I smile to myself when I remember being so thrilled to arrive in Ireland that I hugged the flight attendant, I was too happy to keep it to myself. Take care of you, Graham.

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    1. I think, Pauline, you have hit the nail right on the head. Going on holiday with no one with whom to share the moment isn't anywhere near as much fun. In fact it's something I've rarely done. I've travelled alone a lot but I cannot remember ever holidaying alone except the first time that I went to South Island in 2005 or for weekend breaks when I was a very young man.

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  13. I like being with my wife, but when she travels I equally enjoy my solitude. I think I must have a hermit gene in me.

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    1. I suspect, Cro, that quite a lot of us have a hermit gene. I must remember that term.

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  14. You are blessed to have the help and to enjoy having family/friends. I totally agree with you and Pauline with regard to travel. I always say to my husband that I could not imagine traveling and not being able to share the awe and beauty with a loved one or friend!
    Take care Graham!

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    1. Liz I am exceptionally fortunate in having friends but my memories of travels are shared with many.

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  15. I love my own company and I enjoy being alone.
    I am never lonely...not with Brownie around anyway.
    Some folks will never understand the concept that being alone does not equate to being lonely.
    Now that my daughter is no longer here, I enjoy my solitude even more.
    It's so good to have friends that are there for you no matter what....David and Molly were great health providers.

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    1. You are right, Virginia, some people equate being alone with being lonely. I suppose many are but those of us who are happy living on our own do so out of choice.

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