Being 'Single'.

"It's okay for you there's only one of you to look after." is a statement I hear quite frequently from married people.

WHAT!  For some reason when I heard it yesterday it really irritated me. 

I live in a 100 year old 'family' house. There's only me to clean it and do the maintenance. I have a large garden. There's only me to work in it and maintain it. I eat meals with the usual regularity of two people. There is only me to do the cooking. The difference is simply the quantity I cook. I do all the shopping. 

When I go somewhere there's only me to do the driving. There's no "I'll drive tonight so you can have a glass of wine". When I go away I have to pay for double accommodation or a substantial 'single supplement'. 

If I get 'flu or break a leg then there's just me to look after me. 

On the plus side there's only one of me to consider if I happen to want to watch the television or radio.  😂

A Day in The Life of A Single Man

I'm not married and haven't been for 30 years.

So I get a tiny bit peed off when married people say to me "It's all right for you you've only got yourself to look after so you have plenty of time." 

WHAT!*!*

When I got married my wife said "I do the cooking and the ironing and you do the housework and maintenance." It wasn't negotiable but it worked. I had a bit more of a problem with "...and I don't do nights with the children. I have them all day." Fortunately I didn't need much sleep. It all worked very well.

So when I got out of bed one Sunday in November at 0645 and abluted after I'd taken my Alendronic Acid tablet. (It's taken once a week with a full glass of water and you have to remain upright for at least 30 minutes and not eat or drink anything else.) I decided to challenge the assumption.

Around 7.30 I fed the birds.

I stripped my bed and put the first load of washing on.

Coffee.

I finished a letter to my brother. We don't exchange emails and he doesn't talk on the telephone....at all to anyone.

Yesterday's Wordle was updated with the New Zealand/UK group that I play with. 

Breakfast of a banana, muesli and Grapenuts was consumed.

First load of washing into the dryer and second load of washing in the machine. 

I wrote a Blog post.

Started on the second and third Christmas cakes (the fruit having been soaked in brandy and Marsala for a week). They were in the oven before 11am.

Cleaned the kitchen and put everything away.

Coffee. Cancelled my Netflix subscription as I hadn't watched it for 2 years and the bank card had just expired. 

Had lunch (homemade soup and homemade bread) and did a crossword..

Made bread. Well, I put all the ingredients into the breadmaker.

Third lot of washing and second lot of drying.

Turned the mattress and made my bed .

Sorted my pills for the next two months. Not my favourite job but at lease it's over and done with for another 8 weeks.

Fed and wrapped the cakes.

Ironed the bedding and shirts (I still wear formal shirts and a tie when I leave the house).

Made a curry for dinner. 

During all this I had coffees, answered WhatsApp chats, chatted to my New Zealand Family etc etc.

Okay. I'll stop there because I think you've probably stopped reading anyway and are wondering why I am posting this. 

The reason is the comment an acquaintance made recently that I started with. 

I am 'single'. There is only one of me to look after in the house. BUT there is only one person to do all the chores. There's no difference between cooking for one or two (or four), cleaning a house for one. or two (or four) etc etc. 

So to suggest that I have less work is than a household with 2 or 3 or 4 to share all the tasks is plainly absurd. And, as you will now have gathered, it irks me.

I wrote this a little while ago and decided against publishing it until yesterday when someone else completely unrelated to the last person made the same comment.

Bring a Plate

Until I read Lee's recent post I'd forgotten how unusual the expression 'Bring a plate' must sound when one first arrives in Australia or New Zealand (and perhaps other places of which I am unaware). It is the usual practice when going to a party or when an organisation such as a croquet club is having a function or tournament for guests or members of the host club to 'bring a plate' of food.

It became my standard offering to make a cheesecake. Why? Because the first time that I can recall doing it was for a croquet tournament the club of which I was a member was holding. That must have been in about 2007 and it led to the following incident.

When I came into the clubhouse from a game I was met by a lady from a visiting club who, loudly and in front of all present, asked if I was Graham. That is my name so I decided on an honest approach and admitted as much. "Then marry me!" That, I have to admit totally threw me. I looked around at all the amused faces hoping for help. Of course none came. My obvious perplexedness (I'm sure there's no such word but I'm equally sure that you'll understand what I mean) caused her to ask if I was the maker of 'the cheesecake'. I confirmed that I was. So she repeated her offer of marriage. She was wearing a wedding ring but as she was obviously older than I she could have been a widow. Anyway I took a gamble and said that I didn't think her husband would approve. "Bugger him!" was her response.

At this point I should explain that the term "bugger" is not regarded as a swear word in New Zealand and I doubt very much that many people even know its legal meaning. It is often used by ladies of a certain age without as much as a batted eyelid.

A couple of years ago I was at a tournament and the said lady was talking to a friend. I said 'Hello' as I joined the group and she looked at me and said "Do I know you?" My friend told her that she had once proposed marriage to me. She didn't bat an eyelid; looked me straight in the face and asked if I had accepted. "No." I replied. "Your loss." she retorted and carried on with the conversation.

Of such memories is life's rich tapestry made.