Dotage and Broadband

I might be considered to be in my dotage and I might still be deaf as a post. I'm hoping that the latter will be remedied next Monday (the former being incapable of a remedy) and that the 1½ litres of warm olive oil in my right ear and the Otex in my left ear will have done the trick and the nurse can syringe my orifices successfully. Until then I can't even hear the keys being struck on the laptop. 

However, I am really peed off today. I was up at 0630 with the intention of having a really productive day. After having abluted (which, rhymingly, is the ablative absolute) I started checking my emails. Then my broadband started dropping again. It's been doing this for ages and it's very annoying. I tested the speed when it came back and it was 4mbps download. I'm supposed to get about 30mbps but I've NEVER had more than 23 and I consider 15mbps pretty good as a rule. 

It was 7am. wotthehellarchiewotthehell why not waste some time seeing if I could get something done about it. I have had a Vodafone mobile phone since 1990 and have always been very satisfied with the service and value for money. When I started with Vodafone Broadband a few years ago it was great. Any problems (the line blew down one day for example) you picked up the phone and instantly spoke to someone. Forget it. You "speak" to chatbot or noone. (which given that I'm temporarily deaf is probably a Good Thing). However the algorithms don't contemplate the possibility that one may be having a sporadic fault so after ¾ hour of fruitless going around in circles it offered me the opportunity to speak to someone.......and then closed down. 

However when I tested my speeds again they were the best for months and, so far, my connection hasn't dropped out for over 30 minutes. 

As a post script I should add that I have discovered that if I put my earbuds in I can actually just hear someone on my phone so can at least communicate on the mobile phone if absolutely necessary. 

Disoriented by Deafness

On Wednesday I went deaf.  

It's not a permanent situation (I hope) but it is severe in that I am unable to hear anything at all unless it is held next to my ear and is very loud (my phone on full volume is just about audible but I can't hold a conversation easily). I cannot, for example, hear the living room television on full volume. I can't hear the kitchen television if I put it 1 metre away on full volume. I can't hear traffic coming near me if I'm on a pavement. I can't hear the warning beeps in the car. 

Worst of all I cannot hear anyone 3 feet away unless they are shouting. A quiet coffee at The Woodlands is not possible at the moment.

I have always said that one should never assume anything about a person until one has experienced what that person has experienced. That can be anything from depression to the pain of childbirth or in a man's case a kidney stone. 

At the moment I have become acutely aware just how much my life would alter if I were profoundly deaf. Because I will hopefully only be deaf for about 10 days I don't have the anxiety of what life would be like if I were permanently deaf. However, it's definitely a good insight into what deaf people have to endure.