Just a quick update in answer, partly, to the myriad of lovely messages I have received. Sometimes it can be a bit of a challenge with phone calls, texts, Facetime ,WhatsApp, Telegram, Messenger, emails, blogs and Facebook (does anyone use Skype these days?) all going at the same time and I hope none have gone unanswered.
I drove home to Lewis on Thursday in order to sort myself out mentally and physically. I had done something I cannot ever recall doing before (as close friends know only too well) and travelled light with one small case and only enough of everything for the four days I intended to be away (plus an extra day of course just in case).
Next Wednesday I have the results of my cancer scans and should learn what is going to happen in the next phase of getting more post-cancer-operation use out of this body that I inhabit. After all next month it will be 19 years since the diagnosis and operation. Nineteen years which have included some of the best of my life. Indeed, with the ten New Zealand years, one could say that I actually had a whole new life during that time.
Anyway on Monday after a nurse has changed the bag on the tube sticking out of my kidney I shall be getting the afternoon ferry to Ullapool and then driving to friends near Inverness. On Tuesday I shall leave for Glasgow and at crack of dawn on Wednesday I shall head off to Irvine and an appointment with the person in the NHS who has been my liaison and point of contact and mental brick in my cancer treatment, to see what awaits me. We agreed that this time she wouldn't tell me anything until we were face to face. Whatever the scan results we know that the cancer is developing and has to be treated.
Then I'm hoping that, whilst I'm down, they will finish playing around with my innards and get my system up and running again.
Why am I telling you all this? I suppose it may be partly therapy. However I see people all the time who have cancer or get cancer diagnoses and see every emotion from pure negativity, to fear, to 'Why me?', to just ignoring it and hoping it will go away all on its own (it won't so deal with it!), to determination and positivity that would blow your mind (like Jaz in New Zealand who has been my inspiration for so long). I want to impart some of that positivity to others who may face that which I have faced and am about to face.
Thanks for the update GB. What a year it's been. So many highs and lows.
ReplyDeleteWe shall keep our fingers crossed for next Wednesday and hope that you're not uncomfortable in the meantime (you can at least be thankful that you don't have young children or animals trying to pull that tube out of your innards as I imagine they would in our house!)
xx
Thanks Helen. The very thought makes me wince! However on a serious note, I look at what's happening to millions in some countries and their highs doent even reach the lowest I could ever get to.
DeleteAm sure that your positive attitude has carried you through Graham.
ReplyDeleteIt's the only way Heron.
DeleteIn response to this post and your previous post (I'm running late)..your attitude is positive - mix a dose of positivity with a dose of determination, and you come up with a potion better than any additive concealed in a little flask!
ReplyDeleteGo get 'em, tiger!! Best thoughts to you, Graham. :)
That is so true Lee.
DeleteThanks for the update. Your positivity is an inspiration. Good luck in the near future.
ReplyDeleteThanks Diane.
DeleteThanks for sharing with us, GB. Your New York and North Carolina contingents are sending all the hugs and best wishes that will fit across the ocean (that's a LOT).
ReplyDeleteMrs S, everything you and yours do is always BIG and never ceases to amaze and impress me and make me fee good.
DeleteMy solid and heart felt prayers your treatments go well, and you are cancer free
ReplyDeleteThank you Maywyn: much appreciated.
DeleteYou are so right in saying that it won't go away, and so you deal with it. I must admit I am, more often than not, one of the ignorants when it comes to health problems. It has not really helped with some of my health issues in the past, but fortunately, I have not (yet) been confronted with a possibly life-threatening diagnosis.
ReplyDeletethat you are telling us this as some part or form of therapy is something I understand very well. When Steve died, I simply HAD to talk about it, tell people, write to them. It helped.
I always remember you telling me that right at the start of my following your blog Meike. It's true too.
DeleteApart from being therapeutic, blogging openly about it will probably be a lot easier than remembering whom you have told or not! ... Joking aside, I really do think you are setting a good example with your positive attitude. And I dare say that even those you meet who might not seem to share that positivity themselves, may still in fact take some encouragement and "food for thought" from it (whether they show it or not). ♥♥
ReplyDeleteMonica, if I can get just one person to look at things positively when they are not doing so now then it will all be worthwhile.
DeleteYour New Mexico friend sends her best wishes across the ocean too! Keep on positively and keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteThank you my Volvo-loving New Mexico friend. I will.
DeleteYour matter-of-factness and your stalwart character prove that you are a brave man Graham. My fingers are crossed that the consultation in Irvine leaves you feeling contented about your current state of health.
ReplyDeleteYP, I'm not sure that I'm brave but I'd rather be alive and happy (even if I were dying) than alive and miserable (and still dying anyway).
DeleteYour positivity is very inspiring Graham. Good luck with what lays ahead. We will all be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lynda.
DeleteYou're a good example of how someone takes control of their treatment and daily life.
ReplyDeleteI'm fortunate Red in having a good team looking after me but, yes, taking control is important.
DeleteAll of us out here in blogworld are pulling for you, Graham, and hoping for a good report and outcome in this situation. I know I am.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bob. Yes a good report would be a bonus.
DeleteI will be waiting to hear how you are going!
ReplyDeleteI'll be letting everyone know asap Kylie.
DeleteYou seem to have been very positive and courageous during this recent setback, Graham. I'm keeping everything crossed for you for good news on Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteFrances being positive is the only constructive thing one can do in this sort of situation. Thanks for keeping everything crossed. Doesn't it make walking difficult?
DeleteThey say that a PMA is half the battle! As a Jilly-come-lately to your blog and life (but I do Skype )my penny's worth could be superfluous. We are just starting on a new stage of our lives and have many decisions to make. Talking to people and friends are important as a dam breaker and I now can cry infront of strangers! It helps me. Very best wishes.
ReplyDeletePotty, no one's pennyworth is ever superfluous. When I started hormone therapy nearly twenty years ago I had hot flushes and would burst out crying for no reason in the middle of the supermarket. It taught me a lot. It rarely happen now I glad to say but if it does I no longer worry about it. I hope things go well for you.
DeleteHello Graham, just to say that I will be sending millions of positive thoughts to you for your meeting with those that hold your next stage of treatment in their hands. They truly are wonderful in most cases, as I said to you before, and will certainly have your best interests at heart with whatever cunning plan they come up with next.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes from Yorkshire.
Beverley
Oops. I'm sorry Beverley. I forgot to respond to your comment. I went away that day to get my scan results and just forgot. Thank you very much for your positive thoughts. So far they have worked a treat.
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